Building Self-Esteem: Embracing Your Worth and Potential
So, what exactly is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the belief in one's own worth and abilities. It is an integral part of our overall well-being and personal growth. It shapes our perceptions, attitudes, and actions towards ourselves and the world around us. When we have healthy self-esteem, we are more likely to better deal with challenges, build meaningful relationships, and pursue our goals with confidence. On the other hand, low self-esteem can hinder our progress, limit our potential, and lead to emotional distress. Fortunately, with some self-reflection, changing our thoughts and behaviors and some effort, we can work towards developing a healthy level of self-esteem.
What does low Self-Esteem look like?
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, you may notice you’re often comparing yourself to others, don’t feel good enough, are overly self-critical and consistently seek validation from others. You may struggle to accept compliments, focus on your shortcomings and self-sabotage so that your negative beliefs about yourself end up getting reinforced. In relationships, you may have a hard time prioritizing your needs, setting healthy boundaries and feel underserving of love and respect. Here are some other signs that you may be struggling with low self-esteem:
Feeling insecure and anxious
Avoid challenges/risks
Feeling like you don’t belong
Have a hard time making decisions
Don’t trust yourself to know what’s best for you
Although low self-esteem may feel like something you’re stuck with forever, it’s not. And you can absolutely make changes to start feeling better about yourself.
Why do I have low Self-Esteem?
During childhood, our interactions with our parents, caregivers, and peers play a significant role in shaping our self-worth. If a child grows up in an unsupportive or invalidating environment, where their thoughts, feelings, and achievements are consistently ignored or criticized, it can significantly impact their self-esteem. This type of upbringing may make us feel unworthy, unimportant, and unloved. Traumatic experiences, such as abuse, neglect, or bullying, can also affect how a person sees themselves. Some may even believe that they are somehow at fault for how they are being treated, that there must be something inherently wrong with them to deserve this mistreatment, again further eroding self-esteem.
Influences outside of the home can also impact the value we place on ourselves. Societal pressures, unrealistic beauty standards, and comparison to others, especially through social media, can create a constant sense of inadequacy.
Then once we begin with the negative self-talk, it’s hard to stop it. The self-deprecating thoughts and harsh self-judgment reinforce a negative self-perception. Over time, these negative beliefs become ingrained, leading to a cycle of lowered self-esteem.
Now, what can I do about it?
Embrace Self-Acceptance
The first step to building self-esteem is embracing self-acceptance. Acknowledge that you are unique and valuable just as you are. Emphasize your strengths and accept your weaknesses, as they are a part of being human. Remember, it's impossible to be perfect, and that's okay.
Recognize and Challenge Negative Self-Talk
It's important to become aware of the negative thoughts and beliefs we hold about ourselves and actively challenge them. Start by paying attention to your inner dialogue throughout the day. Are you frequently criticizing yourself or focusing only on your flaws? Remember that these thoughts are not facts, they are only thoughts. Replace negative self-talk with kind and more reality based statements. Instead of saying “Ugh, I can’t do anything right. I’m always messing up” consider, “That did not turn out how I hoped. Let’s see, what went well and what do I need to do differently next time.”
Celebrate Your Strengths and Accomplishments
Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Make a list of your strengths and revisit it frequently. Recognizing your abilities and achievements will help you build confidence in your capabilities. Whether it's finishing a project at work, overcoming a personal obstacle, or simply making progress towards a goal, celebrate every step forward. By focusing on your strengths and successes, you'll build on a more positive self-image and improve your self-esteem.
Set Realistic Goals and Take Action
Break down big goals into smaller, achievable steps that you can tackle one at a time. Setting small goals ensures a higher likelihood of success, which contributes to a sense of accomplishment. Additionally, taking action towards those goals reinforces a belief in your abilities and creates momentum for further progress. As you achieve these goals, you'll experience a renewed sense of self-worth and increased self-esteem.
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people we surround ourselves with greatly impact our self-esteem. Seek out individuals who uplift and support us. Build relationships with people who inspire and encourage you to be your best self. Seek out mentors or join groups that share your interests and values. When you have a strong support system, it becomes easier to overcome challenges and maintain a positive outlook.
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is necessary for developing self-esteem. Prioritize yourself and your well-being by getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, and doing more physical activity. Participate in more activities that bring you joy and provide a sense of fulfillment and say no more often to activities and commitments that you are only doing to please others and that are not interesting or rewarding for you.
Let’s get started!
Although it can feel nearly impossible to start feeling differently about yourself, it is possible for you to create a strong sense of self, feel more confident and to recognize your worth. Call today to schedule a free consultation and begin taking steps towards embracing your worth and potential, building a stronger sense of self and removing self-doubt from your inner dialogue.
If you are ready to seek counseling in Phoenix to work on building your self-esteem and self-worth, book a consultation today by clicking below or calling 480-463-4015.
