The Relationship Between PTSD and Shame
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with well-known symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, and heightened anxiety. However, there’s a more subtle, often overlooked emotion that plays a significant role in the lives of those struggling with PTSD—shame. Shame is a complex and often painful emotion that arises when someone feels deeply flawed, unworthy, or inadequate. Understanding the relationship between PTSD and shame is important for your healing process, as it not only impacts your mental health, but also the way you view yourself. Let’s break down the link between the two and explore how it can lead to mental health struggles like anxiety and depression.
The Link Between Trauma and Shame
Internalizing Blame: Shame tends to focus on the self ("I am wrong or flawed"), unlike guilt, which is often tied to specific actions ("I did something wrong") so you may internalize the trauma and blame yourself for the traumatic event.
Feeling Damaged or Broken: After trauma, individuals may feel like something is fundamentally wrong with them. Shame leads them to see themselves as unworthy or less-than.
Negative Self-Perception: PTSD can lead to pervasive negative beliefs about oneself, such as "I am weak" or "I am damaged." Since these beliefs are often driven by shame, it can make it harder for individuals to believe they are worthy of help or healing.
How PTSD Triggers and Reinforces Shame
When an individual develops PTSD after experiencing trauma, shame often becomes intertwined with the disorder’s symptoms. This relationship between PTSD and shame creates a cycle that reinforces negative emotions and perceptions. Some of the core symptoms of PTSD, such as intrusive memories, hypervigilance, and avoidant behaviors, often trigger or fuel feelings of shame. Here’s how this dynamic works:
Intrusive memories: When you’re constantly reliving a traumatic event in your mind, it can make you feel powerless. You might think, “Why can’t I just move on?” and this frustration can lead to more shame about not being able to control your emotions, thoughts or experience.
Avoidance behaviors: PTSD often causes people to avoid places, people, or situations that remind them of the traumatic event. While this can be a way of coping, it can also make you feel like you’re running away from your problems. Over time, avoiding things can make you feel weak or like you’re failing, which can add to the shame.
Hypervigilance: PTSD can make you feel like you’re always on high alert, which can be exhausting. This constant state of tension can make you feel like something’s wrong with you, further reinforcing feelings of shame.
The Role of Shame in Anxiety and Depression
Shame is one of those emotions that tends to isolate you. When you feel ashamed, you’re less likely to reach out to others or ask for help. You might worry about what people think of you or that they won’t understand what you’re going through. This isolation can worsen feelings of anxiety because now you’re dealing with everything on your own.
When shame is left unchecked, it can also lead to depression. Constant negative thoughts about yourself can start to feel overwhelming, and you might begin to believe that things will never get better. Depression can make you feel stuck, hopeless, and disconnected from the people around you. Over time, the combination of PTSD, shame, anxiety and depression can make it hard to find the motivation to do things that would normally bring you joy or help you heal.
Breaking the Cycle: Addressing Shame in PTSD Treatment
Shame can be a challenging emotion to address, especially when it accompanies PTSD. Those who experience shame as part of PTSD may feel a deep sense of inadequacy or self-blame related to past events, which can amplify feelings of isolation and emotional pain. But there are supportive strategies and techniques that can help treat shame compassionately, fostering healing and resilience.
Here are a few therapeutic approaches that can help:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a great way to challenge those negative beliefs about yourself that come from shame. A therapist can help you reframe your thoughts and recognize the distorted beliefs that contribute to shame. For example, CBT can help replace self-blaming thoughts like, "It was my fault," with more balanced perspectives, such as, "I did the best I could given the situation."
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is a structured therapy that is helpful with processing traumatic memories and reducing their emotional intensity. This therapy helps reframe how the brain stores memories of traumatic events, making it easier to separate current identity from past trauma. EMDR can be especially helpful in reducing shame by enabling the mind to process painful experiences in healthier ways.
Self-Compassion: Learning self-compassion is key to overcoming shame. This involves acknowledging that suffering and trauma are a part of the human experience and that everyone deserves kindness, even (and especially) from themselves. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help you become more aware of how shame is affecting your thoughts and behaviors.
Group Therapy: If you feel alone in your experience, group therapy can be a game-changer. It’s a space where you can share your story with others who understand or relate to what you are going through. Hearing other people’s experiences can help you see that you are not alone and that shame doesn’t define who you are.
Healing from PTSD and shame is a journey, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. With patience and kindness, it’s possible to reduce shame and build a more empowered and hopeful future. Schedule a consultation to learn how through compassionate support and evidence-based interventions, you can break through this cycle that has been keeping you stuck and work towards building a healthier self-image.
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